I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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