hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize