Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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