We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
