PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
