I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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