im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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