In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
