Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
