Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
