i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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