return my video game
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
