Life is so much better after having sex.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
