I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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