I heard we made out
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize