her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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