my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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