we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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