Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Randomize
