DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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