so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
