im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
