The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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