Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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