I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
