Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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