So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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