Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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