Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
