now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
When did we convert life to cartoon?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
