I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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