Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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