those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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