Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
