Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
This baby is an asshole
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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