just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
