Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
