does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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