It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
