Having a random hookup so left but love u
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
