You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
