Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
