I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
