i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
