How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
