I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
