told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
