oh god the rape fog is back!
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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