So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
