I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
