is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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