which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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