Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Also, beer. Big fan.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
