Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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