We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
