So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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