somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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