Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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