Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize