I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
