guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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