: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
try to milk me bitch
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