I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
