Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
