She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
