It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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